I Shoorpanakha....

Many times we hear  our stories from others point of view and need to reclaim it. 

Shorpanakha is our today's heroine and she would. Like to tell her own story, which we heard from  Sage Valmiki.

We all have heard of her story and the way L Lakshamana had cut her nose and punished her. 

Soorpanakha. My name is synonymous with Sin for many, encased for eternity in the pages of the epic Ramayana. I am not the role model parents would point their daughters towards. Why is that? You may ask. Because I admitted to lust. My name was pitted against Sita, the embodiment of purity and womanly virtues. She was everything I was not and I was everything she was not.

She was beautiful and so was I. Do not believe those terrible sketches of me with sharp fangs and blood shot eyes. I was a peerless beauty with large fish shaped eyes, for which my mother had named me ‘Minakshi’ at birth. A single woman, independent enough to roam the forests alone. I was free.

My freedom was my sin, as was my open sexuality. I dared to invite a man, the exiled king of Ayodhya, to make love to me.

“I am ekam-patni-vrata (faithful to my wife)”, Rama replied smugly.

He was not interested? Fine! There’s no dearth of men.

Laughing, he points at his brother, the youthful Lakshmana. It was kind of humiliating. But I swallowed my pride, and smiled at Lakshmana. He looked like a sweet kid.

Lakshmana however turned out to be a rude brat.

“But she’s almost fifty!”, he huffed. Aaah, the pride of youth! I ignored the insult and smiled sweetly.

“We are not getting married! Just a few laughs”, I mocked. He mouthed a few more insults. (I bet those won’t get written down by the poet sage Valmiki).

The brothers meanwhile were raking me with their eyes. The elder one was fingering his bow and arrow. A woman stood with head bowed a few feet away. So this is Sita? The pinnacle of all ideals a woman is supposed to be. I snorted. The brothers frowned. They were murmuring something, heads close together.

I went to Sita.

“Hello!”

She glared at me. Obviously she had overheard when I was propositioning her husband.

Her veil moved a little. She was nice looking and tall. She slouched a bit, careful to keep her head covered at all times.

“Sorry, didn’t know he was married.” I ventured.

Silence.

So, why is your husband dragging you around the forest?” I was determined to have a conversation.

“He is not dragging me anywhere. It is my duty to serve him and follow him everywhere. Where is your husband?” she replied huffily.

“Murdered.”

She looked contrite, “Sorry for your loss.”

‘Don’t be. I would have killed the abusive b#$%#rd myself one day,” I guffawed.

She stared at me, shell shocked. She had never dreamed a woman could talk like this.

“So, did you and ex-king over there fall in love or what,” I asked amiably.

“He won my hand by picking up and breaking Lord Shiva’s bow.”

“What does that even mean? Did you like him or not?”

Her eyes took a glazed confused look. “Like him?…it is my duty to love and serve my husband till I die and follow all his wishes.”

Sita was like a parrot, repeating lines no doubt fed to her since childhood. I was sincerely filled with sadness for the girl.  Later on, this same husband would force her to walk through fire to prove her ‘purity’ and she would commit suicide by jumping into a pit. She did not know this then, neither did I.

“Sita, are you happy with your marriage?”

“Happy? Nobody ever asked me that. I don’t know!”Sita’s veil had fallen over. Her slouch was gone. Now I understood why she slouched, the girl was taller than her husband.

I took her hand. “Listen sister, do you want to get away for a few days maybe. You could come with me, see the world, you know.” A wondrous expression filled her face. I am pretty sure that was a “Yes” on Sita’s trembling lips.

“Hey Soorpanakha, let go of my wife”. Startled I look around to see a furious Rama bearing down on me.

My long hair was jerked with such force I fell to the ground. I looked at Sita. But she was too weak to help.

Lakshmana pinned me down. A long menacing sword gleamed in his hand. His eyes were wild, his mouth salivating at the prospect of stabbing a defenseless woman.

“Do it quick. And no one needs to tell what really happened.” Their laugh rang in my ears as the sword copped off my nose and I could hear no longer. The sword had taken my ears too. The blood filled my mouth and I vomited.

“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story …” I thought I saw Sita’s lips murmur the words.

Today I, Soorpanakha, tell my story.

Motherly wives

This is a letter to all those ladies who have adopted a grown up child from their mother in law. Ladies you have enough roles to play being a daughter, sister, friend, colleague, wife, sister in law, daughter in law, a mother to your kids and some  still have choosed to be a mother to their mother in laws kid. How sweet!!

I  have came across ladies who are busy 24* 7 in kitchens  or doing some or the other thing, at the cost of relaxation, they never have that me time. And the worst part is they are not even aware of it. These ladies are of different species, who sleep and get up with the same thought of list of work to be done for their kids and family. I understand helping the child and elders out in some situations, making things handy for them or providing them things at their place.

I have seen ladies who get up early to boil the milk and remove the chilkas of soaked almonds for their husband, while he exercises. Without a thought of having one almond for her. Keeping his clothes ready till he has bath, serving his breakfast, filling tiffin and keeping in his bag. Remember those filmy wives who kept the wallet, tie, socks, tiffin ready for husbands. So lovey dovey,but that’s the film my dear. Some  ladies are not able to peep out of their house for days due to unfinished list of work always hurrying from one to other and on the other hand their husband, having fun relaxing, and walking out with their phones ringing. Life is easy for them, they get everything in hand. They sit on table and food is served. 

Today we appreciate men for they helped women in her house hold work. Some are even having a question how long will they do it? If women can take the ownership of everything at home why can’t men? Ideally speaking in many cases house belong to men, at least the name plate shows his name. But keeping the house clean tidy and house hold chores all are always women’s responsibility. Why? Then why not have door names changed?

Loving him is different and serving him like a maid is different. Love is when you both do it for each other. Give him Opportunity  to do it for you sometimes.Let him serve you  food, share that glass of milk with you. 

While you give others an excuse of his busy and tough schedule, you are fooling yourself. Enough of mother in you be a wife.

Guys if you make a list of things we women do it may cross hundred in number. Grow up and do your own thing, now even Prime minister as declared to be ‘Swavalambi’ and ‘Atmnanirbhar’, It’s a national emergency. You are setting an example in front of your children. Do you really want them to be so lazy like you? Yes, why can’t you help yourself remove those chilkas and boil milk for your wife to rest for ten more minutes?

Helping her in cooking, keeping house clean will not hurt your masculinity. You can take charge of some activities in your limits; at least do your own things. Get yourself served like you do when you attend a party having buffet. Help her serve your parents with medicines, food etc. make your bed, clean your room, get children dressed up.

I have seen men ordering to get breakfast in the place they are sitting, ordering for water or tea. I have seen them finishing their eating and leaving the utensils on the table itself. Oh MAN….atmanibhar bano….let your wife breath.

And oh motherly wife it’s completely your fault that you are raising up your child but not your mother in laws. You are discouraging a grown person to be Self dependant. Let him explore his own things; let him be the part of his activities, his needs. Let him take the ownership of the room in his own house where he has his name carved on the Main door.

This has nothing to do with lockdown. There is something called self dependance, so let him be. He is your husband, elder to you in age, not your child who is decades younger than you. You are partners, so share your parts of responsibility. While you are training him, train your son so that he grows up to be husband and not grown up kid for his wife.

Good Character or Good Future what will you choose.

Some days back I came across a small video clip from Mahabharata in which lord Krishna explains how important it is to guide your children to build up their character than their future. Impressed with the thought I had some brain storming.

It is essential that we invest in Childs character than in their future. Building a good character will definitely help them have good future but having good secured future doesn’t ensure us that they have good character.   

Our children are observing us  for larger hours since lockdown started on 22nd March, today we are in June and few more days child will observe us 24*7.What do you think this change  has added to your Childs life? Have you ever thought how strong the life behind these closed doors would reflect on your Childs behaviour or character?

You child has unknowingly observed you and absorbed all your habits, and behavioural patterns. It doesn’t matter how small or how big your child is, your personality will directly affect him. He is already occupied by your genes half the way now remaining 50% is still in your hands to shape him up.

We were busy in our daily routines and the child carries a different picture of a working parent, than a parent who is at home for months. He has seen your stress management skills at home since two months. This was not the corporate stress management but the lesson of managing it remains same. He has observed you if you have been empathetic towards your wife helping her in household chores, or if ordering new dishes, exploiting her sitting at one place. He is also observing mothers cooking and doing household without maids help, understanding the ownership of the house.

They have observed you dance hand in hand enjoying the lockdown or stressing up on phone for hours. They have seen you if you have used this opportunity lockdown for enrichment of life in different ways , or just wasted days and months sitting watching web series and fun masti without any value addition. They have seen your concern towards your old parents or in laws and made up their minds for family values.

They saw all of us struggling still enjoying some festivals during lockdown like Gudi Padwa, Vatapornima Eid, understanding the values of our culture. They saw us celebrating mother’s day and strengthen the bond of motherhood in society. They have seen us if we really meant to donate and help the needy, they have seen us getting scared of situation. They have heard our comments on pandemic, the migrant poor and the unfortunate deaths around. They heard talking about religious disputes during pandemic and much more.

Have you done your bit, have you initiated by helping a needy. Do you have any good deed to show your child teach him what life is all about? What is that you really want your child to be? Do you want them to grow up as a person with a good character, good habits, and a good human being?

Have you initiated some learning process for your child, some self development session for yourself? We all lack in some or the other thing, did we think of overcoming or learning it. Did we ensure that we improve by putting away some bad habits (we all have) and show child good ideal parent picture? Did you make your child understand how important relations, people, schools, institutes, friends, good hygiene are in our life.

Scope of improvement is very high and we are not late yet. Ensure you have a good picture for your child to inculcate in himself and have a good character. Be the change you want to see.  Being human is not enough; you need to be a good human being.

Are you haunted

All these two month lot many things are happening. Quarantine has lead to many incidents behind the closed doors. Domestic violence increased drastically. Women got irritated with cooking and household activities. Men got worried sitting in their own house. With all this there has been drastically rise in paranormal activities observed by individuals. Now those who believe just believe and those who don’t they don’t. No one sees the world in same way as other. Nature has balance of everything so is in this case, if there is positive energy there is negative energy as well, I stand equally for both energies.

With increasing death by Covid, attack by locust earth quake and cyclone moving around us there had been increased number of people thinking they are haunted. I was always wondering there is untimely death of people around, this may tragically trigger to some kind of supernatural surge? Why not? We believe in rituals to be done after death of the person. Sometimes I thought it was just for our psychological satisfaction to bid goodbye to the loved one and some social binding. But further when I read more about it is more than what we think. And now we have ended up with no rituals for the deaths due to pandemic.

May be people did not stay at home for so long, and all of sudden they are 24*7 at home. You must have felt as if someone around is watching you. All of sudden something falls with no one around and you think it’s just blowing air, where as windows are closed.

There are two possibilities one who hallucinate and other who have psychological issue. Their mind is playing tricks with them. People when in shock or pain often imagine things which are not around, that’s quiet psychological. Residual energy is not entity it comes from emotions. When we think something we radiate emotion through environment. When we are sad we enter into a room, where the vibes doesn’t feel good.

Its oblivious we do not pay attention to many things in routine but since two months as we all are free people tend to pay attention to all small things happening around. This negatively impacts the most psychologically vulnerable people who have more of fear and anxiety.

When I experienced this it took time for me to understand what exactly happened, I never shared it with anyone. When my brother shared similar experience in nearby flat in same area I opened up about it and minimised my visits to that house. It happened thrice with me and I shifted to a new house. About a year later when one of my aunties shared my story as hers, I asked her what that means. She said it’s some paranormal activity, some spirit around. I stopped visiting that house forever. I never tried to know about it. But today I feel what was that spirit trying to tell me and why me out of those thirty to forty people, that to on wedding night.

Haunting experience is sometimes the result of isolation. Isolation is used as a weapon to deal with criminals; it is used to break down prisoners psychologically in some countries.

In today’s scenario lockdown can be stress full to people as it was enforced suddenly and there is no really good news around. Basically it is a shock with combined inconvenience; separation form loved ones, restriction to routine life and at times away from your home, where you feel extremely secured. Some people are sensitive to spirits around but at times they are also alone and dwell in past not so good memories. Most of the cases are psychological or scientific. They are at times false beliefs that the entire family carries and encourages their generation more confident about the haunting experience. Very few people say this happened with me; many times the stories shared are about the third person.

Raw salt is good solution to improvise the aura around, it is effective way of cleanse and get rid of negative vibes. It creates a good aura and space .The scientific point is salt repels negative ions and counters negative energy.

Large part of spirit world is unseen, stressful life led us to increase in psychological issues. Sometimes we just do not get positive vibes of some place or you feel very positive about some location. It’s about individual’s feelings and aura around, or the vibes you get. It is always better to contact experts for opinion, but if you feel you are haunted and trying to question your own feeling go ahead, do not rely on the person staring at you from your ceiling.

 

Karma

We have always been taught,Kar Bhala toh ho Bhala.Achay logon kay saath hamesha acha hi hota hain. Basically it's just to ensure human keeps his deeds good. 

These days so many videos get viral which show human being's cruelty to animals, torturing them, hurting them killing them. I always wonder what must be happening in the persons mind. What type of person he must be?

Today I came across a very heartbreaking news of a pregnant elephant who was fed pineapple with some crackers in it by some insane person. The crackers Burst in her mouth and poor elephant struggled in water to cool down and died.

I want to share a small story, which was the first thing came to my mind for the person who did this insane act... the murderer. 

Bhishma was very noble person and living according to Dharma. He was also the son of Ganga and was an immortal as he had a boon of dying only when he wanted to. He was also the strongest warrior in Mahabharata war (even stronger than Arjuna and Karna).

Facing such death is astounding, but it was related to his past karma.

While laying on bed of arrows, Bhishma asked the same question to Krishna as why I am facing such death. Krishna said  last 75th life when he was a teen, he was playing with bow and arrow. While playing, he saw a lizard and hit with arrow for having fun. The lizard fell into bush of thorns and died after suffering.

He suffered  because of his deeds. No matter how good his deeds were for other life's,because of his one act  of hurting and killing the lizard in his last life Janma as we say,  he had to undergo same pain and die.

In today's incident the elephant ran into the water as crackers bursted in her mouth bursted and refused to come out of water when help arrived. She lost faith in humans. We need to ponder on this are we really humans? Do we deserve  this planet? 

 

Today entire country mourns for the elephant and his unborn baby. I wonder where the elephant must have gone wrong that she got such brutal  death. Don't know if it was the elephants karma, but hurting a animal who cannot speak and that to when it was expecting or carrying another life in his womb is definitely a crime.

It's all about our deeds, karma as you sow shall you reap. Keep your deeds good, MIND YOUR KARMA you never know what will come back to you and in what way.